So this is life

When the Day is Over by EddyB

Hi there! Today's post is not going to be about gyaru, and it's not going to be about fashion, makeup, shopping or anything like that. Today's post is just going to be about... Well, my life.

I'm not going to try to trick you into staying, so only read of if you're really interested. :) There might be a couple of pictures, but it's mostly going to be text, text, text.

So let me tell you about my life right now! If you want to know more about me, this is the post to read.

I'll start it off by telling you the good.

The Good 

1. I live with my boyfriend and his wonderful family. I'm very happy with them, and I wake up everyday knowing I'm blessed to have them.

2. I signed up for GISHWHES by Misha Collins. I'm so psyched for a 10 day digital scavenger hunt! Here's to making friends, going nutso and a chance to fly to Scotland and stay at a haunted mansion for a night along with 15+ people and the amazing Misha.

3. Tomorrow I'm going to Armageddon Expo. Not cosplaying like I planned, but there's always next year. I will, however, be OMG getting to see JIM BEAVER and a lot of other actors from Supernatural and A Game of Thrones. Excuse me while I scream in fangirlish joy.

4. I have a job! Yesterday I got a call saying I was accepted as a holiday retail staff at one of the big clothing brands here in New Zealand. I am super keen since I've always wanted to work in a clothing store! AND I LOVE THEIR CLOTHES. They're fashionable but relaxed and comfortable.

5. I go to the top university in my country. It's in the top 1% of universities in the world. So I suppose that's good.

6. Although I haven't been drinking my anti-depressants I'm pretty sure I'm not depressed anymore. Yay!

K, I hope that didn't sound like bragging.

The Not So Good 

Here's the not-so-good stuff. I think they go hand in hand with the points from above. Haha.

6. Even though I'm not depressed anymore, I still feel the pangs of self-loathing fairly frequently. And sometimes I still get the urge to self-harm.

5. I hate my degree. I hate my university. I hate it. So. So. Much. It's not that I can't handle the workload. I'm reasonably intelligent and can be hard-working when need be, but I don't feel like I'm learning anything worthwhile.

4. The job's only for the summer, and I have to be prepared to work everyday during the holiday season (i.e. around December 10-30, I think?) To be honest, this is probably the least 'not good' item on this list. I don't actually mind this, haha!

3. I don't have that much money to spend tomorrow because I'm a stupidhead who went shopping like nuts the past couple of weeks. (Pat, you are so dumb. For real.)

2. It's during the exam period. And I don't have too many resources to go crazy with the challenges. :(

1. Sometimes (or maybe a lot) I feel like a burden staying with them. I help with paying the rent but still.

How to resolve the not so good and make them into good stuff (with hard work and maybe luck) 

BTW I'm a redhead now!

It felt kind of good getting that off my chest! Obviously those items listed above aren't the only things going on in my life, but those are the ones I felt comfortable talking about and feel like I can go about resolving.

Here's my plan!

Lately I've been trying to think of more positive things when the hateful thoughts begin to seep into my mind. I go on Tumblr where my awesomely positive dash keeps me in high spirits, read blogs by awesome people, hang out with my boyfriend or his sister, that kind of thing. I'm going to continue distracting myself when I'm  feeling low and get busy. That hopefully means I'll update this blog more!

With the degree and the uni... Well, I'm dropping out. I'm wasting time and money. So I'm leaving. I'm applying for diplomas next year, so I can get a qualification for less time and less money. I just really want to get something more out of my education that just theory. There's more to life than just thinking. There also has to be some doing, I believe.

As for the job thing, like I said before it doesn't really bug me! :) I'm happy that the work will only be for the summer as I plan on heading South next year for a new start. That will help me reinvent myself as well and teach me to be more self-reliant as everyone I know lives here in Auckland or happens to be in either the US, Australia or the Philippines.

Spending? My friend and I are planning on going on a no spending pledge from next week on! I think I will still have to spend on clothes a little because I don't have that many items from the shop I'm going to be working in. But my spending will be greatly limited. :)

Okay, with the scavenger hunt, I'm just going to have to suck it up and be as resourceful as I can on the cheap.

With the burden thing... I plan on helping around the house more. And since I will hopefully be away for a year next year, then I won't be a burden then for sure! :D

Derp derp derp.

So that's my life, folks!

Gonna run now. Kisses.